American Eagle Review We're here at Six Flags Great America. Today's ride we'll be reviewing is American Eagle. After getting in the trains, we dispatch. We go around a turn and into some straight track. So far, it's nice and relaxing. But anyways, we reach the lifthill. We begin to climb the lifthill, when to your horror, they have showed up. Those assholes on the other side of American Eagle actually had the guts to challenge us to a coaster race. Well no problem. Anyways, we accept and begin the coaster race. After shouting random insults such as "HEY JACKASS!!! THE AMERICAN EAGLE MAY BE AN ENGANGERED SPECIES, BUT YOU'RE ABOUT TO BECOME AN EXCTINCT SPECIES!!!!!!", you shake fists at each other and declare yourselves enemies. Then you can't help but angrily glare at the other side. You begin to hate everything about them. The way they dress, the way they talk, the way the ride on the wrong side of American Eagle. But then you get distracted by the first drop. You then suddenly realize, this first drop is actually pretty big. We then forget about those other side jerks, raise our hands, and shout "WEEE!!!!" as we gain quite a bit of speed. We then see two small hills right after that. You then start to think to yourself, "OH BOY!!!!! CRAZY AIRTIME!!!!!!!", but then you quickly realize that it's not there. Nope. We're on the wrong ride for airtime. That's over on Viper on the other side of the park. Anyways, we then rise up a big hill and head into a bigass helix. And I'm not exaggerating. It really is a bigass helix. During this bigass helix, we start to notice the coaster race. If you are winning, you start to cheer and start singing the winning song. If you are losing, you can't help but begin to cry. Then you both head through the bigass helix. If you are winning, you begin to shout "NA NA NA NA NA!!!! WE'RE WINNING!!!!!!" If you're on the losing train, you say to the winning train "Please don't brag. It's very rude." Then if you're on the winning train, you respond "THAT'S LOSER TALK!!!! YOU TALK LIKE THAT BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE LOSERS!!!!!!!" Then if you're on the losing train, you respond with "Shut Up." Then if you're on the winning train, you respond by singing very annoyingly "WE ARE THE WINNERS AND YOU ARE THE LOSERS!!!!! NA NA NA NA NA NA!!!!!!!" If you're on the losing train, you respond with "Didn't you hear us the first time, WE SAID SHUT UP!!!!!!" If you're on the winning train, you then reply with "You guys couldn't win this coaster race if your life depended on it!" If you're on the losing train, you respond with "SHUT THE F*CK UP!!!!!!!" Then if you're on the winning train, you respond with "PEE YEW!!! What's that horrible smell? Oh yeah. The stench of your failure." By this point, we have reached the end of the bigass helix and a wall is now seperating the two sides because at this point, people from the losing train would throw their shoes at the people on the winning train (Ok, that's not the real reason, but dammit!! It should've been! And yes, that helix is long enough to hold that entire conversation. We told you it was a bigass helix). Anyways, we then start to drop and go through several bunny hops and some straight track. Now back in 2008, these hills had some airtime and were pretty fun. But when I rode it in 2010, it just seemed to slug over these hills. I'm not sure if I was just lucky in 2008 or unlucky in 2010, hopefully it's the second option. But then we split as we begin to go through more hills before hitting some very harsh trims before heading into the ending helix. Frankly, this helix sucks as it's slow and shakey, but luckily, we rise up into the brake run. Fortunetly or Unfortunetly, we never find out who won the coaster race. So who won? NOBODY KNOWS!!!!!!! We just assume that we won and skip away victorius and enjoy Six Flags Great America. Recently, it seemed like American Eagle really went downhill, slugged through the course, and got rough. But even so, it's still a decent wooden coaster and currently the only racing coaster at Six Flags Great America. So I'd still recommend riding it while at Six Flags Great America. Just don't be suprised if you wake up in the middle of the night and say to yourself "Did I really win that coaster race on American Eagle or am I a loser living a life of lies and cheating?" 7/10 Location: Six Flags Great America Opened: 1981 Built by: Intamin Last Ridden: August 13, 2010 American Eagle Photos Home